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BRotherhood Of Steel
Dedicated to the Capital Wasteland Knights who stand guarding those doorways in the Citadel.
Even though they don't need to be guarded. We love you.
(Do not get angry, this is intended as a joke.)
**Two Knights stand guard at a doorway in B Ring Citadel. They salute a passing Paladin. They're names are Knight Hobart, and Knight Sergeant Spence.
Hobart: Hey.
Spence: Yeah?
Hobart: Ever wonder wh-
Spence: If you ask me that goddamn question again. I will shove this size 14 boot so far up your ass, you'll cough up Scrap metal.
Hobart: Jeez. It was just a question.
Spence: Hobart, you know why we're here. We stand here all day. We fall asleep in our suits, we URINATE INTO A PLASTIC TUBE LINKED TO A BUCKET, WE EAT THE FUCKING RUST ON OUR SUITS.
Hobart: Wait... What?
Spence: And all for guarding this simple door. We do this for the next 4 years until some jackass decides to nuke the place just to grab Dirty Harry's fucking Magnum.
Hobart: That's a pretty bleak lookout on life.
Spence: Look on the bright side, maybe we'll finally be able to move our arms to shoot someone.
Hobart: I can't actually. My arms are rusted solid.
Spence: Damn, you've been standing for a long time.
Hobart: Two years.
Spence: 16 months.
**They salute Sentinel Lyons who passes through.
Hobart: FUCK!
Spence: What?
Hobart: I can't imagine Lyons outside of her suit anymore.
Spence: What?
Hobart: I can't. Imagine. Her. NUDE.
Spence: ... You need to get laid.
Hobart: Your face needs to get laid.
Spence: Fuck you.
